Like speaking to people after drinking, thinking I’ll get the kids to school on time or when I go to the supermarket to buy just “a couple of things” and optimistically refuse to grab a shopping trolley.
“She’ll be right” I’ll think to myself, “I only need a couple of things and won’t need a trolley” 😬 So I arrogantly prance around with my Go-Go Gadget arms, grab the “2” things I need and then stupidly go “ooooh, looky here…weetbix is on sale, ummmm…I could definitively use some more detergent, ahhhhhh I need butter/toilet paper/milk/and….hmmmmm, ooooh the kids like those…oh, hang on…oooh, yup, I’d better grab some of those too”
I look like a drunk toddler with an armful of toys dropping one fucking thing after another. Yup, I’m determined to make it to the counter without a trolley (or even a basket) because that would clearly be a waste of my time. So I just continue to walk around dropping things while pretending the milk and frozen peas aren’t cold enough to make me lose feeling in my left arm.
I finally give up and walk back to the front of the store like I’m on a trampy walk of shame (you know, where you’re a bit flustered and mortified you’ve been caught in public this way) and have to ask if I can go out and get a trolley.
To be fair, if Woolworths and Coles could get it together and leave random trolleys in the middle of stores for hapless shoppers like me, none of this ridiculousness would happen.
Am I right?