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New Year’s Eve resolution truth bomb

Every New Year’s Eve I commit whole-freaking-heartedly to my New Year’s resolutions.

This time last year I optimistically decided that 2017 was the year I would:

a) be nicer to people that I find annoying
b) I’d become a better parent and stop doing things like muttering F Bombs and flipping the bird behind their backs
c) I’d lose weight like an absolute freaking champion
d) I’d stop drinking

It’s now 12 months to the day and it’s clearly turned out well:

a) I tried really really hard, but I failed miserably.
b) I mumble F bombs like I have Tourette’s and still flip the bird at my kids – and the husband
c) I’ve added on probably 3 kilos 🙄
d) and because of a, b and c, I’ve never stopped with the bubbles and Grey Goose

So apparently I’m still a cranky, chubby, inappropriate, swearing, booze hound of a woman who’s trying really, really fucking hard to nail this whole Mum thing.

Maybe this year my resolution will be to NOT have a resolution?

That’s a thing right?

What are your resolutions for tonight?


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