Men VS Women: Shopping
My husband shopping for groceries without the kids:
Walks in , buys 12 things.
Me shopping for groceries without the kids:
“ooooh, I might just pop into Kmart before I go grocery shopping and look around”
Fills shopping trolley and spends $98.55 on things that I convinced myself we needed.
New framed print for miss 8? Don’t mind if I. A new pillow for
Miss 6 that is glittery and changes colour when you rub it? Ummmmmmm, yes.
I meander my way to the car eyeing off make-up I don’t need, smelling candles I won’t buy and staring at bikinis my lard arse no longer fits into.
I drop the first trolley at the car while shaking my head to three people in cars waiting for my car park. The first two drivers are male and get cranky, and the third driver is female and just nods understandably when I mouth “I’m going back in” and drives off with a smile and a wave.
I head back in with an empty trolley and head directly to Woolies as I’ve been gone for an hour.
I start in the fruit and veg section while trying to remember the price of strawberries and blueberries at the fruit market I just walked past. Stand there for two minutes straining my hopeless memory… mmmmmm.
Keep going and fill the trolley with the 23 items the husband missed, while adding 18 that weren’t on my list ( they were on sale, how could I not???) I line up for checkout and read the back 4 pages of a gossip mag – I didn’t realise Kim Kardashian’s arse was that big now (its fake yeah?) and get bill shock at the receipt.
Duck into fruit and veg shop to buy the strawberries, blueberries and then the carrots and sweet potato I forgot.
And raspberries as they’re on sale and I hate buying them at $2,189 a punnett.
Make it outside and realise I don’t have any wine at home. Duck into a shop of wine dreams (aka Liquorland) and pick up two bottles of chardonnay. Ring husband and ask if he needs beer. On my way to beer cool room notice that Brown Brothers Prosecco is on sale. “Oooooh, I should really buy that too”
Little conscientious money saver I am.
Get to counter with trolley and see the ‘spend $30 and you can have any of these for $10 sign’
“Oooh, I might try these thingy and something Ciders too please”
I finally make it out to the car and see a car with a female driver waiting for my car park. I mouth “won’t be long” and point to my trolley. She winds down her window and says
“Take your time, I’m shopping without my kids so I’m in no hurry”
Make it home, throw receipts in the bin and make dinner.
Life is good.