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I make some pretty dopey decisions at times.

Like speaking to people after drinking, thinking I’ll get the kids to school on time or when I go to the supermarket to buy just “a couple of things” and optimistically refuse to grab a shopping trolley.

“She’ll be right” I’ll think to myself, “I only need a couple of things and won’t need a trolley” 😬 So I arrogantly prance around with my Go-Go Gadget arms, grab the “2” things I need and then stupidly go “ooooh, looky here…weetbix is on sale, ummmm…I could definitively use some more detergent, ahhhhhh I need butter/toilet paper/milk/and….hmmmmm, ooooh the kids like those…oh, hang on…oooh, yup, I’d better grab some of those too”

Nek minute…

I look like a drunk toddler with an armful of toys dropping one fucking thing after another. Yup, I’m determined to make it to the counter without a trolley (or even a basket) because that would clearly be a waste of my time. So I just continue to walk around dropping things while pretending the milk and frozen peas aren’t cold enough to make me lose feeling in my left arm.


I finally give up and walk back to the front of the store like I’m on a trampy walk of shame (you know, where you’re a bit flustered and mortified you’ve been caught in public this way) and have to ask if I can go out and get a trolley.

Double FFS

To be fair, if Woolworths and Coles could get it together and leave random trolleys in the middle of stores for hapless shoppers like me, none of this ridiculousness would happen.

Am I right?

Fi xx


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