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Reason #4,196 why parents like to drink booze…

This morning we were all awake “extra early” so we wouldn’t be late for school. Sounds easy right? Was I an idiot for being that that optimistic on a Friday morning? Apparently, I was.



With TWO freaking hours to get ready instead of the normal 50 minutes, I thought we’d smash it. M1 had a soccer gala day locally, M2 had her gala day down the coast and M3 had a ‘normal’ day at school.

Easy Peasy for a normal family Feasy (get it? I’m Fi so ‘Feasy – right? I’m like a poet)

I made the lunches early, the Husband took M2 to school for the soccer bus, M1 got himself ready and M3…well, she just kinda hung around doing cartwheels and gymnastic thing-a-ma-jigs. In the TWO HOURS, we had to get ready, she ate breakfast (one painfully slow mouthful at a time) put on her sports uniform and cleaned her muddy, once white sports shoes in the bathroom sink. YUP.

That was pretty much it.

I spent the entire morning walking around with the nagging “hurry up M3, we need to leave early today” and kept getting “Muuuuuum, I KNOW stop telling me to hurry up” in return.

Mumble mumble farking mumble, split syllable swearing inside my head, mutter farking mutter.

So…with the last warning of “WILL YOU PLEEEEEEEASE HURRY UP M3” she said “OK MUUUM, I’M READY!!!” but was she? Really? If by “I’M READY” it meant her newly washed shoes were on, her teeth were brushed, her lunch box was in her bag and her water bottle was full, well, then no, she wasn’t farking ready.

So…I kept pestering her to do her teeth while muttering incoherent swearwords and helping her so we could FINALLY leave the house. Once we were in the car, I actually felt like I was the arsehole for hurrying her up and nagging. How is that even possible that I felt like the stressed out bad guy?

Then a girlfriend rang and said “hey darl, would you mind picking up my kid as my car won’t start and it’s been one of those mornings” I love that sense of comfort that I’m not the only Mum out there that doesn’t belong in the Insta-perfect world.

Does anybody else struggle to get their kids out of the house on a school morning?



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