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Do you know what a FUPA is?

Beyoncé had total control of the September issue of Vogue and at first, I was all like “Mehhhh…who cares?” until I heard she talked about her FUPA.

“FUPA? What the hell is a FUPA?” I thought. Was it the French competitor to that health insurance company, Bupa?

Ahhhhh, no Fiona, you bloody idiot, it’s nothing remotely resembling healthcare.

After some investigation, I discovered two different versions of the acronym but both had the same meaning. The version I prefer as the explanation is that FUPA is the “FAT UNDER PUSSY (OR PENIS) AREA” and the more formal version (for posh folk unlike me) is that FUPA is the “FAT UPPER PUBIC AREA”

Coolio, it has a name other than ‘fatty box’ and I love that I now know a new term for it.

I actually thought that area was where us women put on weight (out of consideration of course, ’cause that’s how we all roll) so their husbands/partners/lovers had somewhere to rest their head when they….ummmmmm… know…..when they’re being considerate and giving us some intimate action

Ahem….cough cough, moving on.

So anywho, Beyoncé has blown up the internet by simply saying

“But right now, my little FUPA and I feel like we are meant to be”

Yup. That’s it. Blown up the fucking internet because everyone is so pumped that Beyoncé has had kids and (like pretty much all women in the world) now has a little pouch for Jay-Z to rest his head on when he’s serving his Boss

Good on you Beyoncé for keeping it real. Love your work and I do genuinely love that she’s sharing some positive body messages to people…yada yada yada…

Saying that though, I really just want to add some other words to everyone’s armory, ’cause I love learning new words. I mean how cool is it that I can now throw “FUPA” out into the world with some regularity.? Cool as fuck right?

So now it’s my turn to have a crack (pardon me) at writing out some interesting words that everyday women call their bits: GUNT, DROOPY MILK PUPPIES., BROKEN FOOFA, CHUBBY BOX, THE FRETTING QUOKKA, HAIRY HARMONICA, FAT FLAP and my old fave, the DIMPLED ARSE

And I’m done. Why don’t you blow the bastard internet up with them too hey?


Fi xx

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